There are many moments throughout life that are awkward. Most times we tend to avoid the awkward situation rather than learning from the experience to make ourselves stronger.
This week I was asked by three different women who are in business development roles, "how do I avoid putting myself in an awkward situation when the decision maker is a man?” Now this same situation may occur for men as well: “How to I avoid sending the wrong message to a woman?”
The first example: The woman is a recruiter within the technology industry, a male dominated field. (Women comprise only 20% of math, science, and technology majors.) So this female recruiter is meeting with leaders in technology who are all or mostly men. She has invited various technology leaders to dinner and cocktails for business development purposes but it can put her an awkward position if the man thinks she is interested in him personally. Have you been in a similar position??
Example two: The woman has been in banking for several years and has been promoted to a private client position. She is doing business development with high net-worth people. On a meeting with two business owners, one of the owners started asking personal questions, which made her feel uncomfortable. She really would like to have these business owners as clients but how does she move the relationship forward on a business only basis?
Example three: The woman is the Vice President of business for a manufacturing company. In her industry, all of her buyers are men. How does she set up meetings with potential clients without putting herself in an awkward position?
In my job, my key buyers are CEOs, of which women only account for 5.2%. You can imagine that I have encountered many awkward situations myself.
Here are a couple of strategies I have used:
1. Take a male counterpart with you on the sales call. This is not a weakness but a wise decision. I have had sales calls where I am by myself and I have hidden in the ladies room until I know the person is gone before I leave.
2. Stick to breakfast, lunch and coffee appointments. This will limit sending the wrong message. Save your dinner and cocktail times for the women buyers. Scheduling your meetings during office hours helps keep everyone’s minds on business, and avoids adding alcohol to the mix which can make an awkward situation even more muddled.
Why do it?
1. The man you are meeting with may be more comfortable speaking and making eye contact with a male vs a female. I have tested this several times. I can facilitate and guide the conversation but the prospect will keep eye contact with the male. Try it and you will be surprised!
2. Taking a man with you will send the message that you are serious about the business discussion.
Women and men alike, take a moment and think about the message you are sending during a prospective meeting prior to going on the meeting. This will help you avoid the Awkward Situation!